Ch-ch-ch-changes

A couple of weeks ago, I was enjoying dinner & drinks (oh, who am I kidding, more like "drink;" mama can't hang anymore) with an old girlfriend.  We were reminiscing about the good ole days, funny stories and how all those little happenings along the way shaped our lives today.  We might not have known it at the time, but there were so many moments that ended up changing the course of our lives.  Many times we don't realize how much impact one decision or one instance can have on your life, until you are looking back, retrospectively.  There are so many life-changing moments that shape each of us for the rest of our lives: Heartbreaks, studying abroad, choosing a university, more heartbreaks, getting married, not getting married, having children, not being able to have children, having a miscarriage, getting into a car accident, cancer, starting a new job, moving, and the list goes on.  So many changes in my life have turned out to be wonderful, like getting married at the ripe old age of 20, and later, becoming a mom.  Several changes haven't been great, and most of the time, change is scary.

I decided to change things up, once again, and recently resigned as director of Big Brothers Big Sisters.  This was not an easy decision, as I truly believe in the mission and goals of this organization.  We are in the business of making friendships, and I think you would be surprised to realize just how much of a positive impact a mentor can make in a child's life.  The experience at BBBS has been life-changing, and from a professional standpoint, I feel I have grown leaps and bounds and gained so much experience during my time with this agency.  I was so committed to working full-time, juggling new mommy-hood, still having a relationship with my hubs and maybe at the end of the day, having 20 minutes to enjoy a glass of wine and a few pages of a good book.  But the minute they laid that 9lb blue-eyed boy on my chest, I had no idea just how much he would change my day-to-day routine, my priorities and my perspective on the lifestyle I wanted to lead. 

I think this decision seemed extra scary, because unlike other situations in our lives, this very clearly creates a "fork in the road," and I made the decision fully aware that I was yet again changing my course.  I am looking forward to starting a new chapter, as I devote more time to my boys and myself, while working for Flint Hills Technical College.

One of my favorite quotes, "The only thing constant is change," is the perfect reminder to roll with the punches, be open to opportunity and realize that new and unexpected changes are part of life.  While I am sad to close one door, I fully welcome the new experience that awaits behind another door.

I ran into our nurse from the Birth and Women's Center, who was on staff during our birth and delivery.  We were both enjoying an unusually hot afternoon walk with our families (coincidentally, she happens to be our neighbors' daughter, and was home for a visit).  Seeing her made me think back to the day Owen was born, which seems like a lifetime ago.  I am still so thankful for the wonderful experience we received at the Birth Center.  The day was so relaxed and laid back, and I like to think that the way we welcomed our little guy into the world kind of set the pace for our lifestyle, and the days, months and years ahead.  We have been blessed with a laid back, cheerful little dude who always seems to have a smile on his face.  Our days are usually pretty relaxed, and we try not to get too worked up over the little things. 

Of course, I am writing this after a particularly bad-mom type of day, so I think I am trying to remind myself of how great life is any other given day.  Usually, these bad days are rarities, and are determined by how much mama gets to sleep the night before.  Thanks to the side-effects of teething, the bambino has been letting everyone know just how uncomfortable he is, right around 2 or 3am in the morning.  Getting through those nights can be rough, but that's the name of the game.  No one said this parenting stuff would be a cake walk, and--luckily--no one can claim they are the perfect parent.  Yet, in spite of a rough day here and there, I strive to keep that peaceful and joyful vibe that we worked for during pregnancy and that we wanted for the arrival of our son.  Each day holds new challenges, new joys, and new reasons to laugh, smile and cry.  Becoming a mother has taught me so many life lessons, and has reminded me to live in the present, with intention, a grateful heart and open mind.  I am thankful we are content just doing our own thang, not pressured to live up to any one's expectations or guidelines.  We are creating our own life, one day at a time, taking the bad with the good, and looking forward to every adventure along the way.

Not even 12 hours old...already back at home, brand new and oh-so perfect.

                                                 Fast forward--8 months later.  What a ham!

                                                        Life is good...Almost nine months!