perspectacles

I recently (a couple months ago) finished reading a book. I stole little bits of time here and there, snuck in words after dark, and slowly inched my way to the back page.  Reading a book turns into a labor-intensive project when you have two littles... and a husband.  So this book, Carry on Warrior by Glennon Melton,  has just stuck around in my mind.  We can do hard things.  We are all broken and healing.  A shift in perspective can change your world.  Big Ideas.  Big stuff to ponder.  And I am a constant ponder-er...wonderer...thinker of all things.  Sometimes when I think about these things long enough & hard enough, the universe grants me with an a-ha moment.  These are few and far between, but when they come they are a pretty big deal. It's a "check yo-self" kind of moment. 

So, this book....As I'm making the bed this morning (and I don't make the bed every day.  Maybe I should.) , I am thinking about this book. These stories, the honesty & balls for opening up, sitting with the raw feelings, healing, trusting the process, accepting your whole self... and then sharing it with the world.  Props to this chick, Glennon Doyle Melton.  There is one essay in particular that B needs to read--I mean she is spot on about the dynamics of a marriage/partnership that spoke directly to my heart.  And how to deepen that connection, create a stronger sense of understanding and self within the partnership.  B should read this & gain a new perspective.  Then I start thinking about the book as a whole.  Maybe he just needs to read the whole thing.  Maybe this book is telling a part of my story.  Wait--- no.  This is not me.  I am not broken, not healing, not full of fear.  Her story is not mine. Stop.  This is me.  My story is my own, but our stories, they intertwine, lead in separate directions, share common threads, and create a tapestry all their own.  We are different, but we are also the same.  This is me--but resistant to admit it. 

Break open & feel all the feels.  Maybe we are all broken in some way.  And it's ok to accept that.  Through husbands and kids and babies and jobs and committees and dinner cooking and house cleaning, through all those layers,  you still exist.  Not a wife or mother or cook or maid or chairperson, but a You.  A You that needs love and healing and hope to get through the day. 
And while we're at it, throw in a pair of perspectacles, as Glennon calls them.  Put those babies on & take a look at your world in a new way.  I can do that.  Accept, shift perspective, keep an open heart.  Look around at all of my blessings and--even through the messiness and chaos and broken-ness--be filled with a grateful heart. Work a little each day at releasing those messy feels that cloud my heart.  Take down those walls brick by brick.  Focus on love.  Focus on the good stuff.  And there's a whole lot of good stuff.  I can do that.  I can do hard things. 

She's right, this Glennon gal, We can all do hard things.  Sometimes we just need a moment of connection, inspiration, a wake-up call and aha moment--maybe we find that in the pages of a book, conversation with a friend, or while making the bed--and in that moment is an opportunity for grace.  Grace is a hard concept for me, one I'm not sure I completely understand or rely on, but in these moments, here it is. To be humbled, to accept that I am a little bit broken and my heart is a little bit messy--- and that is ok.  It is ok. I am still a child of God, I am still loved.  I am loved. I am love. Grace. 

Wow.  This is just what I needed today.  I will probably wake up tomorrow and need a big dose of courage to keep moving forward, but today is all about this moment.  One day at a time.

j.

18 seconds

The moment when your toddler hears music, gets off your lap, and proceeds to bust a move, totally unprompted. Ahh, that stuff is priceless. 18 seconds of pure joy & giggles. (Yes, I still giggle at the right moment).

I've been sharing this quote with my yoga kids & I think it serves as a good reminder...
"Not every day is good, but there is something good in every day."

High five to my little man for giving me some clarity.

Snapshot

Kansas summer. So far, so good.

The best part of my day

It's just me and little man this weekend, and it's been a long, low key day. Patience can wear thin and afternoon naps could always last longer, but there's always a sweet and savory moment as "mama" that puts me in check. Quiet cuddles and a sweet, mischievous smile are the best ingredients to melt my heart.
"Not every day is great, but there is something great in every day."

Banana pancakes

Cinnamon banana pancakes, a trip to the library, lunchtime yoga, a good book, afternoon cuddle with my little buddy and dinner with the girls.

I'm always expecting the magnificent and spectacular, but it is always those small, tender moments that make you realize there is joy and adventure in everyday life. Losing those expectations can change your life, even though it's a daily challenge. But today was a pretty damn good day.

Snow day!!

We wish daddy could have joined us for our snow day--we've had a blast! Dance party, finger painting--followed by bath time, playing in the snow, bread making, snow ice cream & hot chocolate, more playing in the snow and we're still on a roll! Actually, Owen is still on a roll. I'm typing this with one eye open as I crash on the couch. He's terrorizing the dogs, climbing on tables & dragging out every toy in the house.  Gotta love him!  Not a bad way to start out my birthday weekend--lots to be thankful for. 

Here's our first foray in finger painting 😊

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITK0wBRLtDk&sns=em


Stay warm & stay safe friends!!

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Mama Musings

Here are a few tidbits of reality and advice I have picked up over the last year...

• Once your little one is old enough to crawl/walk, you can kiss every last bit of privacy or personal space goodbye.
~This especially applies to the bathroom setting. Get your business done quick, or get used to having an audience. Also expect to have the shower curtain ripped down when you are relishing those 5 minutes of steamy, showery peace & quiet.

• The word "quiet" also takes on a new meaning...unless they are asleep or eating, if it suddenly gets quiet, it probably means the little bambino is up to no good.
~In our house that eerie silence means O-dawg is either eating dog food, scattering every last diaper and wipe across the house, or climbing onto the dining room table. Ayiyi!

• Owen has finally become an excellent sleeper. If you've gone through months and months...and months of waking up multiple times, you know just how amazing it is to turn that corner. Being a parent turns sleep into a necessity AND luxury. Sleeping in until 11am, afternoon naps when I please and 2am bedtimes by choice...I should have never taken those things for granted!

• Now getting da babe to sleep can sometimes be a different story...for mama, at least. A little rocking & back patting by Grammy, Nana, or Daddy usually does the trick, but when Mama's on bedtime duty, there's only one thing on little mister's mind..and it starts and ends with the letter B.
~Now this secret weapon has come in handy, and seems to be the magical cure-all, but now I'm wondering if tits been a bit overused? Lol! Just saw my typo...how fitting!

•I think "mommy" is also a synonym for worry-wart, let's- think-of-every-possible-disastrous-outcome, I-want-to-put-my-child-in-a-safety-bubble, over thinker. It's really ridiculous how a simple trip to the park can unleash an overreaction of concerns & worries in my mind. I mean, he's not going to fall off the side of the slide when I have a death grip around his waist, and that creepy old man at the picnic table is not a child molester, he's actually waiting for his wife & granddaughter to finish their bike ride ( ya...felt pretty shitty about that one!)
~Thing is, I'm not alone in this maniacal way of thinking, which does make me feel a bit less crazy! Being a new mom is overwhelming, and a big guessing game most of the time, but why can't we just relax & go with the flow? I'm a work in progress on this one, and when my kid's climbing on the dining room table I probably do seem pretty relaxed!

• Growing your family from two to three obviously means a few sacrifices...especially when it comes to social time/mommy & daddy time/girl time/adult time...you get the picture. What once was girls' night out, with fruity cocktails & juicy gossip now equals a play date at the library or zoo with sippy cups and animal crackers.
~Funny thing though...while I sometimes miss the freedoms of the B.B. era (before baby), I love the new experiences I share with my boy, & seeing the world, brand-new, through his eyes reminds me of the everyday joys & wonders of life. Now don't get me wrong, I definitely think every mama deserves a date night & girls' get together (in fact I'm itching for Saturday night to roll around--Mama's hitting the town!), but I've realized building block towers and playing tickle monster is way more fulfilling. I love that! Who knew?!

It has begun...

Today is a very important day in the Hopkins household. 

It's the first day of football season. 

More importantly, it's the Chief's home opener---a game that absolutely, without a doubt cannot be missed.  This day means cheesy rotel dip, hot wings, bud light, and a few choice words for the ref and opposing team :)  However, it's 3rd quarter, and I've only heard a handful of "S.O.B's", mother-beepers and the like, echoing up from the man cave.  For the next few months, we can only schedule family activities between 8-11:45 am and anytime after 3:30pm on Sundays.  We are required to rep red & gold, and it is essential keep an infinite stock of beer and snacks on hand.  The Monday Night Football song must be memorized and sung with gusto, week after week, and superstitious rituals and traditions must be observed and respected.  More importantly, when we suffer a loss (and it's the Chiefs, so we are bound to encounter one or two of those), my duties include consoling and cheering up a die-hard fan with wounded pride.  So let's just toast those aluminum cans to a winning season in KC :)  Cheers!

My Big Chief & Little Chief Fan In Training

Feels like the first time

Happy Friday!  It's raining outside, I'm snuggled up under the covers, the boys are napping & life is good!

The last few weeks have held a lot of "firsts" for our little family.  We celebrated Owen's 1st Birthday!  We partied down with our wonderful family and friends and had a great time!  He loved his cake, I loved the homemade sangria, and we were so happy to share such a fun day with all the great people in our lives.  You know the saying..."enjoy it, because the time flies by...", and it certainly does.  During the last 12 months, this little baby has turned into a little boy.  He is full of laughter, love, curiosity and affection.  Daddy can get the best giggles out of him, and he's a sucker for snuggles with Mom.  Definitely a ladies' man, he can turn on the charm and also be quite the ham.  He has Grandma wrapped around his finger, and brings so much fun and laughter to family gatherings.  We remind ourselves how blessed we are--every single day. 


We also had the pleasurable experience of dealing with our first sick little boy.  He caught the 24 hr stomach bug.  It was not pretty.  Puke in the crib, puke on the blankets, puke on the couch, puke on his clothes.  2am puke also means sacrificing a towel or two to the trash & hoping it's not going to be a repeat performance (luckily, it wasn't!).  One entire year without more than a sniffle is pretty darn lucky, so we were bound to catch something eventually.  It was a pretty sad sight, and those big blue eyes sure pull on your heartstrings when your arsenal of mommy cuddles, kisses, milk and silly songs just don't do the trick.  Luckily he was a trooper & we are on the mend, going full steam ahead!  Here's hoping there's another full year before we have to deal with that again. 

Another fancy first--Owen FINALLY said "Mama!"  We've only been working on that for the last 12 months!  I couldn't believe my ears, and then the waterworks started.  Geesh, I'm such a softie these days.  He's also saying "juice" which means sippy cup, "dog"--of course that would not be decipherable to the average ear, "dada" was a first, and has been practicing a few signs.

                          Happy Birthday to the love of our lives!

                                                          Presents!!!!



Talia & Jace came to celebrate!



Grammy, Mama & Auntie Hannah ready to partaaay :)   

There it is...the good, the bad, the ugly.  We take it all!

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute!

We are barely one week into little man being an entire year old (more on that later), and I just found my first GRAY hair!! Eeeek!  I do not remember reading this in the motherhood description!  I have navigated my way through many sleepless nights, boo-boos, drool on everything and more dirty diapers than I care to count...but this?  This single hair is almost too much for this mama to handle!  I guess it's time for a few highlights, and maybe a poor me pity party, complete with a glass (bottle?) of wine :)

Summa Summa Summa Tiiiime

Maybe I've been spoiled at a young age with annual summer vacations from California to Florida, and everywhere in between, but it's just not a true summer without at least one little getaway.  Perhaps it's my free-spirit, the wandering soul within, yearning for travel and wide open spaces, but I just can't be content with a summer that doesn't include loading everything but the kitchen sink in the car & hitting the open road.  A few last minute, on a whim plans (the BEST kind of plans!) and we have a little fun in the sun planned!

A few weeks ago we trekked out to the glorious Colorado mountains for a taste of big sky, fly fishing ( I "moved" a trout--somewhat of a success in the fishing world, or so I'm told), hiking, rafting (the real deal folks, forget about the professional river guides when you have Papa Hop in the captains seat!)  and a little family bonding.  B headed out a few days early for some extra fishing time--so O-dawg & I hit the skies for his first  trip by plane.  Note to self---11 months is not exactly an "ideal" age to earn your wings, but after a 4 hour delay, numerous Starbucks coffees, and a quick 15 minute jump from Denver to Colorado Springs, we survived.   Here are a few action shots from the trip :)



B working the fly rod on Grape Creek



 

Ark River rafting with our rafting buddies to the left



Owen's first hike---love those long legs a-danglin'!!

The killer view of Canon City area as you are heading on the road from hell up to the house.  I cringe every time! 



Just a week later, we hit the road running and set our sail for the hills of Missouri.  No one loves the Ozarks more than my mother, so Table Rock lake was the setting for our first vacation in several years with everyone there!  We won't mention my failed attempt at wake boarding (hey, bonus points for trying!!), or the serious whiplash I got after dominating (or was it being owned?) by a massive wake on the tube (Thanks, Zach! grr!), but I did show that outlet mall how to shop, so we'll count the trip as a success :)  Owen had a blast, hamming it up, enjoying the spotlight, as always, and the hubs and I celebrated SIX years of marriage.  Good stuff!



Trying to be cool 



My little lake baby







Lake Living...good stuff



Now it's back to reality, and the crazy busy schedule of fall/school starting/routine/responsibility that will try to rule our lives for the next few months.  Glad we were able to stock up on some R&R, sunshine & good company to get us through!







Ramblings, Pt. 2

So I know the repetitive "mommy" theme of this blog might be wearing a little thin.  Sure, you've got a kid, he's cute as hell, you love him a ton...is that all you got, Hopkins?  Truth be told, my life outside of time spent with the little monster is pretty ordinary.  For example, today I went to a city commission meeting, I hung out in the community garden at work, I read and wrote a ridiculous amount of e-mails, I made a bunch of phone calls, I missed buying Heck's sweet corn at the Farmer's Market, and then I stayed up entirely too late catching up on blog posts and current events.  Saweeeet. (I think I may be borderline grumpy after this long-ass day).  

I just wrote in my last post about celebrating the little moments that make the ordinary a little more special, so most of those little moments have been sourced by an 11 month old goofy, toothy grinnin' little boy.  His antics and budding personality are far more interesting than the regular stuff that takes up the day-to-day experience.  Not that I'm complaining about my day-to-day, I'm just telling it like it is. No one cares if I had a roast beef sandwich for lunch (actually it was ice cream), or if I got a parking ticket when a meeting ran late (no ticket...but I did do a massive curb check in my mother in law's car as I was leaving the bank drive thru...nice), but something about a chubby cheeked little boy that is learning to walk and talk and become a real-life little person seems like a topic with a little more substance.  And the fact that I'm in charge of that little person turns this interesting story into a hilarious comedy.  Yikes--that's a lot of responsibility for a twenty-something free-spirited Pisces.  Hell, that's a big responsibility for any person, period.  It might be a little delayed, but I think I might be going through post-I'm now a parent shock.   The same thing happened when I got married at the ripe age of 20...it took about a year to sink in, then Holy Crap! I'm married!  Now, almost 6 years later, it's Holy Crap!  I have a baby!  No...wait, he's not a baby anymore!  How did that happen?!  By some extraordinary twist of fate, my ordinary daily routine of meetings, emails, phone calls from mom, dinner with b, roadtrips on a whim, shopping sprees and travelling with ease got turned upside down and a sweet little baby rocked my world.  11 months later it is sinking in, and all that stuff that once made up my day-to-day doesn't look anything like it used to, and I'm totally ok with that.  Not gonna lie, sometimes I miss the good old days of independence and 2am bedtimes by choice, but as my friend Erin recently said, "I don't want to live in the past, just gonna keep on moving forward...",  so I'm loving it, embracing a new phase in life and seeing where it takes me.  I've always liked to refer to everything as an "adventure" or a "journey," and I may not be climbing mountains or saving the world, but life right now is definitely a new kind of adventure, dominated by a 3 foot tall (what can I say, the kid's gonna be a giant!) little dude.  Ok, definitely rambling.  Time for bed!

Ramblings...

**I started this post below about a month ago--whoa, baby time flies...Owen just turned 11 months earlier this week.  Yikes!

We had a great weekend.  A don't-want-it-to-end, sunshine and blue skies, fun and memories type of weekend.  The sky was full of those white, fluffy Simpson cartoon clouds and the open road was all mine.  I love that back-road drive to Burlington.  Something about the rolling prairie, farm ponds and fields of corn and wheat triggers a deep contented sigh and a true love for Kansas summer.  Not to mention, driving in the direction of home always brings a feeling of comfort.  O-Dawg and I trekked to Grandma and Grandpa's to celebrate Father's Day with my Daddio, complete with picnic at the park and playground fun.  I love watching Owen's face light up as he discovers new experiences and surroundings.  He revives my inner child, and I get just as excited as he does, seeing the world from a brand-new perspective.  We also had a gourmet shrimp feast at the lake with Nana and Papa.  A hodge podge of side dishes, paper plates and outdoor dining at its finest!  A little girl time, rest and relaxation, and celebrating B's first Father's Day, complete with a handmade card and a lotta love put the finishing touches on a wonderful weekend. 

Little man is 10 months old!  He has started to jabber and talk a lot more lately, although we are still waiting for consistent ma-mas and da-das to start rolling out of his mouth.  I know every child has their "timeline," and Owen has exceeded most developmental milestones, but I am anxious about him getting to this speech milestone.  As a mama, all these thoughts start going through my mind--is it because he's not in daycare?  Is daily interaction with other kids a crucial component in his cognitive development?  Has he hit is head one to many times since he has learned to crawl and pull up on anything and everything?!  Does my child have some type of brain injury as a result of his clumsiness? Am I so good at reading his non-verbal cues that he feels no need to speak or get my attention?  I mean, most of this is silly, but it does cross my mind.  I have found that becoming a mother has set off an instant panic button in my brain, but I need to remember to relax and enjoy.  This little tyke isn't so little anymore...it's all about opening drawers, crawling up the stairs, crawling like crazy and on the go, go, GO! Ayy, I'm pooped!  This motherhood gig is definitely a labor of love.  It's worth every minute, but juggling it all?  It ain't easy!

I think it comes down to celebrating the little moments. (So the moral of the story, kids...).  But honestly, there's a lot of good stuff that happens each day.  Maybe the good stuff serves as a reminder;  to live with gratitude, seek joy in the ordinary and to sustain us through the not so good stuff.  Happy (late) Father's Day to all the kick-ass daddios out there...that's a little moment worth celebrating, for sure! 

Playground and Pool Fun!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

A couple of weeks ago, I was enjoying dinner & drinks (oh, who am I kidding, more like "drink;" mama can't hang anymore) with an old girlfriend.  We were reminiscing about the good ole days, funny stories and how all those little happenings along the way shaped our lives today.  We might not have known it at the time, but there were so many moments that ended up changing the course of our lives.  Many times we don't realize how much impact one decision or one instance can have on your life, until you are looking back, retrospectively.  There are so many life-changing moments that shape each of us for the rest of our lives: Heartbreaks, studying abroad, choosing a university, more heartbreaks, getting married, not getting married, having children, not being able to have children, having a miscarriage, getting into a car accident, cancer, starting a new job, moving, and the list goes on.  So many changes in my life have turned out to be wonderful, like getting married at the ripe old age of 20, and later, becoming a mom.  Several changes haven't been great, and most of the time, change is scary.

I decided to change things up, once again, and recently resigned as director of Big Brothers Big Sisters.  This was not an easy decision, as I truly believe in the mission and goals of this organization.  We are in the business of making friendships, and I think you would be surprised to realize just how much of a positive impact a mentor can make in a child's life.  The experience at BBBS has been life-changing, and from a professional standpoint, I feel I have grown leaps and bounds and gained so much experience during my time with this agency.  I was so committed to working full-time, juggling new mommy-hood, still having a relationship with my hubs and maybe at the end of the day, having 20 minutes to enjoy a glass of wine and a few pages of a good book.  But the minute they laid that 9lb blue-eyed boy on my chest, I had no idea just how much he would change my day-to-day routine, my priorities and my perspective on the lifestyle I wanted to lead. 

I think this decision seemed extra scary, because unlike other situations in our lives, this very clearly creates a "fork in the road," and I made the decision fully aware that I was yet again changing my course.  I am looking forward to starting a new chapter, as I devote more time to my boys and myself, while working for Flint Hills Technical College.

One of my favorite quotes, "The only thing constant is change," is the perfect reminder to roll with the punches, be open to opportunity and realize that new and unexpected changes are part of life.  While I am sad to close one door, I fully welcome the new experience that awaits behind another door.

I ran into our nurse from the Birth and Women's Center, who was on staff during our birth and delivery.  We were both enjoying an unusually hot afternoon walk with our families (coincidentally, she happens to be our neighbors' daughter, and was home for a visit).  Seeing her made me think back to the day Owen was born, which seems like a lifetime ago.  I am still so thankful for the wonderful experience we received at the Birth Center.  The day was so relaxed and laid back, and I like to think that the way we welcomed our little guy into the world kind of set the pace for our lifestyle, and the days, months and years ahead.  We have been blessed with a laid back, cheerful little dude who always seems to have a smile on his face.  Our days are usually pretty relaxed, and we try not to get too worked up over the little things. 

Of course, I am writing this after a particularly bad-mom type of day, so I think I am trying to remind myself of how great life is any other given day.  Usually, these bad days are rarities, and are determined by how much mama gets to sleep the night before.  Thanks to the side-effects of teething, the bambino has been letting everyone know just how uncomfortable he is, right around 2 or 3am in the morning.  Getting through those nights can be rough, but that's the name of the game.  No one said this parenting stuff would be a cake walk, and--luckily--no one can claim they are the perfect parent.  Yet, in spite of a rough day here and there, I strive to keep that peaceful and joyful vibe that we worked for during pregnancy and that we wanted for the arrival of our son.  Each day holds new challenges, new joys, and new reasons to laugh, smile and cry.  Becoming a mother has taught me so many life lessons, and has reminded me to live in the present, with intention, a grateful heart and open mind.  I am thankful we are content just doing our own thang, not pressured to live up to any one's expectations or guidelines.  We are creating our own life, one day at a time, taking the bad with the good, and looking forward to every adventure along the way.

Not even 12 hours old...already back at home, brand new and oh-so perfect.

                                                 Fast forward--8 months later.  What a ham!

                                                        Life is good...Almost nine months!

Weeknight Addiction

I need to remind myself that nothing on Bravo TV is worth staying up past my bedtime.  Damn you, Bethenny Frankel and The Real Housewives.  I just can't quit you.  You are my sweet indulgence, my weeknight addiction.  I can't stop watching, because I am utterly repulsed and fascinated at the same time.  I can't say that I "identify" with these over-the-top, extravagant women; I think I am more in awe of their behavior and lifestyle than anything else.  It is like watching a bad train wreck, or scary scene in a movie.  You don't want to watch, but you just can't pull yourself away.  It is a sickness.  A disgusting waste of time that I just can't get enough of.

 I mean, really?! What is it with these women??

Weekend Fun

Every now and then, things fall in to place and you have the perfect weekend.  That was the case at the Hopkins Casa this past Saturday & Sunday.  By Friday, we were all aching to get outside & see the sun.  Just the luck of local students, it always seems to be rainy, yucky weather over Spring Break.  I know we will be grateful for all the rain, when our garden is in full bloom and ripe for the pickin'! 

The weekend did not hold any extraordinary events, just ordinary activities that were extra special :)  We road tripped to our favorite lil' town, Council Grove, for a little fishing at the dam, walking around downtown and a yummy homemade lunch at the Trail Days Cafe.  More fishing at Grandma Rene's, a long walk around the neighborhood, lounging in the grass, and just being lazy.  Picnic in the backyard, reading and playing under the shade of the oak trees, and cooking up a little magic in the kitchen.  By Sunday night, we were just plain pooped from all the fun we had. 

To say we are excited for warm weather, Spring and Summer is an understatement.  Usually after the holidays, we experience a full onset of stir-crazy, cabin fever that can only be cured by sunshine, sandals, and a fishing pole, of course!  Looking forward to many more fun weekends ahead!

Grabbing a bite at the Trail Days Cafe.  All homemade, and delicious!

Let's get this party started, Mom!

Out with the old....

Spring.  Glorious, beautiful, brand new spring.  I look forward to these first few weeks every year; the jonquils and redbuds bringing the dull gray landscape to life, the seedlings for our garden sprouting to life under our watchful care.  What an awesome time to revitalize and renew!  So as the saying goes...out with the old, in with the new! 

Since baby, I have been feeling pretty old, worn out and I sure don't see much to look at when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  The other day I took our husky, Meeka, for a walk--just the two of us.  We haven't been sans stroller for months, and I felt strangely independent.  I love being a mommy and love that little butterball more than life itself, but it is nice to reclaim a few pieces of the old me.  I have become so used to being a "we," that I forgot about so many of the things I loved and enjoyed before motherhood.  So, I am fully embracing Spring as a time for renewal.  I am bringing my focus and attention to three words:  Simplify, Cleanse, Enjoy. 

Simplify starts with the most obvious: my casa.  A little spring cleaning is a great way to start, and makes me feel so accomplished afterwards!  I'm sure Brandon will be thrilled, but honestly, he is a better "deep cleaner" than I am.  I usually get so overwhelmed by the amount of cleaning that needs to be done, that I just end up half-assing everything until it's about four o'clock and time for a wine break :)

Simplifying things not only includes de-cluttering not only my home (and my car--yikes!), but also my mind.  Back in the day, I realized one of my priorities and values was being aware and present in the moment.  I have a tendency to over-analyze EVERYTHING--props to my husband for putting up with this--and lately I cannot seem to quiet my mind.  I am starting to think that "baby brain" really does exist;  if I'm not thinking about the twenty three things I forgot to take care of at work, I am thinking about chores that need to be done at home, how to be a better mother, how to squeeze in some hubby time, the seven emails and five texts I haven't replied to, oh the list goes on.    So to really get the ball rolling on simplifying my life, I am going to revisit my old standby, my wise friend, Yoga.  This is one of the best things I can do for myself; I can totally submerse myself in the breath, the pose, the moment and something amazing happens.  My mind goes quiet.  Maybe just for a few seconds, but I  love those moments of peace and clarity, where you are aware of nothing but the inhale and exhale of your breath. Those are few and far between these days, so when I find a few moments of quiet, it is worth every second.  I look forward to picking my yoga routine back up, even if it is only a home practice until I find a class that fits my needs.  Along with yoga comes the benefits of deep breathing, and meditating...by now, you are probably thinking--oh geez, another "crunchy" granola mom, but this stuff has really helped me in the past.  Another outlet to simplify my mind is my journal.  I have been journaling for years, and it is a great way to release all those thoughts.  Get them out and move on.  Feels good.

Cleanse: I have been itching to do a cleanse for several months, but since I am still nursing, I am going to incorporate a few safe, but still beneficial practices.  I took a few ideas from Mama and Baby Love, my new favorite blog.  Have you ever heard of oil pulling?  Well, I hadn't either, but I gave it a try this morning.  Basically, the oil is suppose to pull the toxins out of your body, as you swish, chew and gargle it in your mouth for 10-20 minutes.  I tried it this morning, with cold-pressed olive oil, and only lasted about 10 minutes, while I was in the shower.  I got my "directions" from this blog,
I am also cleaning up my diet.  Good-bye chocolate chip cookies and soda, hello herbal tea and broccoli!  I really do love the taste of real food, fruit and veggies, but I get sidetracked pretty easily.  Since I have been making Owen's food for the last month or so, it has been easier to eat more vegetables and fruits.  I really, seriously, absolutely need to make this a priority, since I am still breastfeeding.  I have enlisted the help of my number one supporter, Brandon, to keep me on track.  I know he can't wait :)
Clean eating is something I have dabbled in over the years, but never made a priority.  Basically, eliminating as many processed foods as possible and upping the intake of whole grains, fruits and veggies.  I am also going to go dairy and meat free (for at least a week--I know Brandon won't last more than a day or two!) and supplement with Standard Process nutritional shake & vitamins.  You can only buy Standard Process from liscensed healthcare professionals, and I will never stop using their products.  I buy mine from my chiropractor, Dr. Hawkins, at Emporia Chiropractic Center, and truly believe they have a significant impact on my immune system and overall health.  This cleanse also means no caffeine for a week or two, which just sucks.  I have the pounding headache to prove it, but I'm gonna make it! 

I also need help cleansing my thoughts.  Lately I have been feeling a lot of anger and negative energy for no apparent reason.  Everything in my life totally kicks ass these days, and I feel beyond blessed, and I need to pass it on.  Not sure why my mind continues to focus on the negative, un-important things that happen day to day.  I have a 39 day challenge book that is collecting dust on a bookshelf.  It gives you various tasks to help you enjoy life and realize what is important. The very first challenge is not passing judgements or thinking negative thoughts about others for 39 days.  I tried that and only lasted two.  Better luck this time around!!


Enjoy:
I also need to realize that doing a few things by myself is OK, like taking Meeka for a walk/run, reading a book, etc.  I guess since I am away from baby and Brandon during the day, I don't want to miss any second with them after the work day ends.  BUT if I am not feeling good about myself, then I know I am not being the best mommy/wifey I can be.  So that pedicure I had on Friday---thanks, hubs! It is nice to treat yourself every once in a while.  I am looking forward to simple ways to enjoy each day, that aren't necessarily money or time consuming.  I also think one of the best ways to truly enjoy life is by being kind and "paying it forward" to others.

Whew!  This was a little long-winded.  See what I mean about my mind in overdrive with thoughts...feels better to get it all out.  I also figure if I make a public "announcement", then I have more accountability as far as actually sticking to this stuff.  I look forward to bringing back some of my "old ways," and incorporatin gnew ways to bring simplicity, cleansing and enjoyment to my life.  Do you do anything to celebrate Spring and renewal?  I'd love to hear!